I'm sort of in an odd spot right now. Starting in January, when I realized I wasn't going back to YWAM Las Vegas, I applied to a HUGE amount of jobs (for which I was qualified for) and didn't get any job offers other than long-term ones or a far away one. When that wasn't working out, I decided to try to see if I could get into the spring college term in my town.Through a whole bunch of things, I realized that none of this was what God was really wanting me to do. I was running away from him by shuffling my feet like crazy- trying to find that "thing" that God wanted me to do. The reality was, God didn't want me to "do" anything.... just "be." It's a concept I've struggled with for my entire Christian life (yeah, so since I was six. lol).I've always tended to be an over-achiever and someone always trying to help do something or be better at something.God's been convicting me that, when those things take the focus off him, it's sin. (lol... duh, right?!)Yeah. ouch. not a fun realization that my common mentality is basically inately sinful.......So, I'm taking time to focus on being.... my family is really messed up, and I've taken the "stable person" role (which, if you know me well, is in itself pretty much hilarious!), so that takes up a big part of my mission focus right now :)In my forseeable future is lots of odd jobs, building things with my "dad" (we just finished a deck!), watching my niece most weeks, cleaning our house, improving my cooking skills, leading worship at church, and being as real with God and my circle of influence as possible :)....this is just a bit of a glimpse into more of who I am and where I'm at in this current moment :)
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